How mean is my mother in law, would you put up with her?

Your husband needs to get a backbone and stand up to this dominating, insulting and disrespectful woman. He is a married man with a family and not a mummy's boy tied to her apron strings. She still treats him like her little boy and hasn't let him move on. Sometimes we don't particularly like our in laws or who our child chooses to marry, but it is possible for everyone to get on with their own lives without all the hassle and upset. I think, as well as the in law problem, some of your problems are brought about by financial issues, and particularly that you are living with family members and not on your own, sorting your own lives out.